5 Self-Care Tips to Reduce Anxiety and Stress from Your San Luis Obispo Therapist

You know you are smart and capable, with the ability to deeply connect with others. You’re also chronically consumed by worry, anxiety, and stress, while simultaneously ruminating on all the things you should have said differently last week. You frequently say “yes” when you want to say “no” because you just can’t let anyone down. You find yourself frequently holding your breath, and you have knots in your shoulders the size of golf balls. Sound familiar?

I know your struggles!

Hi, I’m Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m a San Luis Obispo therapist for women. Below are 5 self-care tips that have helped my clients (and myself) manage anxiety and stress more effectively. I hope you find them useful.

Self-Care Tip #1 to manage anxiety and stress: Say “No” So You Can Say “Yes”

When we say “yes” to others out of guilt or fear, it adds additional stress to our lives. This can lead to feelings of resentment towards the person who asked you to complete the task, even though they likely have no idea how you’re feeling.

For some people, big gatherings and social engagements fill up their energy tanks. For others, alone time is the only way to refuel.

So ask yourself, “How do I refuel my energy tank?”

Once you’re able to answer this for yourself, you’ll know what types of activities recharge you, and which activities drain your energy.

The next time you are asked to take on the task that is not a good fit for you or your life, practice assertively say, “No, that won’t work for me .” If you would like to take on a different task, speak up. Life is about connection, authentic communication, and some compromise. However, if you are consistently not getting your needs met, your life will be filled with a lot more stress and a lot less joy. By speaking your truth and saying “No” more often to things that zap your energy, you’ll free yourself up to say “Yes” more often to the activities and people that are most meaningful to you.

Self-Care Tip #2: Quality Time (either with loved ones or by yourself)

As stated above, we all refuel differently. For some, a snuggle session with our child, spouse, or pet after a tough day is the best de-stress remedy. For others, it’s a quiet night at home reading and taking a bath. For others, it’s playing tennis with friends after work or jamming out with the band. Whatever quality time means to you, make it a priority!

Self-Care Tip #3: Write It Down

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and writing things down helps me remember important appointments, tasks, ideas, etc. By quickly documenting random information floating around my head, I don’t have to worry about forgetting it, and I can come back to it later when it is more convenient. One of my favorite ways to do this is to use voice-to-text in the notes app on my phone.

You may also want to give journaling a try. Many of my clients report that journaling their self-defeating thoughts, worries, and concerns helps them to take a step back and gain perspective. You may discover that your self-defeating thoughts and worries lose much of their power once you write them down or say them aloud.

Self-Care for Anxiety Tip #4: Sleep Hygiene

Sleep hygiene is just a fancy term for practices and habits that set you up for restful sleep. I am a night owl by nature. To get to bed at a decent time, a nighttime routine is a must. This includes limiting screen time an hour before bed, using soft lighting, and reading a book. I also like to listen to a guided visualization each night to prepare my mind and body for rest.

Going to bed at a decent time is a difficult one for me, and sometimes I get sucked into the social media black hole. Remember, progress not perfection!

Self-Care Tip #5: A Walk a Day Keeps Anxiety at Bay

Exercise is so important for physical health, and for mental and emotional well-being. The key is to choose physical activities that you enjoy, and that you can commit to regularly. I have always loved walking, whether it’s by myself, with a friend, or with my dogs. When I walk every day I notice that my mood improves, I think more clearly, and I feel less stressed.

What is your favorite form of exercise?

It may be running, walking, cycling, swimming, playing tennis, dancing or anything else that gets your body moving. Committing to exercise a few days a week has been shown to improve mood (which reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression), improves sleep, reduces stress levels, and boosts self-esteem and confidence.

I hope these tips help you on your journey to more effectively manage anxiety and stress in your life. I also hope it sparks new self-care strategies that work best for you.

Are you in need of more individualized support for anxiety and stress management?

If you’re a woman who lives in California and want individualized support for anxiety and stress, click here to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation. My name is Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m an Arroyo Grande and San Luis Obispo therapist who specializes in trauma and EMDR therapy, and Anxiety. Take good care my friends!

10 Questions to Ask a San Luis Obispo Therapist, Counselor, or Psychologist During A Phone Consultation

San Luis Obispo, California is a great place to live, with many outdoor activities and fantastic weather. I grew up in Arroyo Grande, CA, one of the small towns here in San Luis Obispo County. I love having my private therapy practice in the Village of Arroyo Grande, where I spent so much time as a kid. One drawback to living in a small town is a limited selection when it comes to service options, such as mental health care providers. 

In a previous blog post, I discussed some tips on how to find a few therapists that might be a good match for you. So now you’ve narrowed down your search and have three therapists you’re ready to call for that free phone consultation…. except what are you supposed to say? What questions should you ask? How do you decide who to choose? 

Questions Ask a San Luis Obispo Therapist

Deciding to reach out for support takes a lot of courage.The process of finding the right therapist can be confusing and overwhelming, especially if this is your first time giving therapy a try. 

I’m Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m here to help you!

Below is a list of questions that are helpful to ask a prospective therapist during your phone consultation":

What types of issues do you work with? 

Some therapists work with a variety of issues and populations, while others specialize in a specific issue, population, or therapy type. 

Do you have experience working with someone who ______ ?

Maybe you just went through a divorce, or you are newly diagnosed with ADHD. Maybe you have chronic pain and you want to work with a therapist who understands your struggle. Knowing that a therapist has experience with what you are going through can be a great place to start your therapeutic relationship. 

What is your background, experience, and training?

This may or may not be important to you. If you want a therapist with a specific type of training, make sure to ask!

What is your cancellation policy?

Some therapists have stricter policies than others. Most therapists have a 24 or 48-hour cancelation policy.

If I need support between sessions, can I contact you? 

If yes- Should I call your office number or a different number?

If no- Where should I go if I need immediate support?

Some therapists are available to take calls after hours, while others are not. Either way, the therapist should be able to provide you with resources should you need immediate support between sessions. 

How often will we typically meet for sessions?

This varies from therapist to therapist. A lot of research shows that weekly sessions are most effective in helping people make progress most efficiently. 

How should I prepare for my first session?

There will likely be a few intake forms to fill out, which the therapist may send to you electronically, or give to you at the beginning of your first session.

Remember, there is no “right” way to engage in therapy. Show up to your first session and try to be yourself. You’ve got this!

How long do you typically work with your clients? 

This varies with each client. However, some therapists are more oriented towards brief therapy, while others may frequently work with clients for several years. 

What’s your fee? 

Therapy is an investment in your long-term health and well-being. I encourage you to make a plan of how you will incorporate this investment into your budget.

Do you take insurance? 

If the therapist doesn’t take insurance ask them if they provide a superbill. A superbill is an itemized list of services that your therapist provided that you can then submit to your health insurance for possible partial reimbursement.

Contact Andrea Bey Therapy in San Luis Obispo Today for a Free Phone Consultation

If you would like my answers to some of the above questions, you can check out my FAQs page by clicking here. 

I hope this helps you feel more prepared and at ease when interviewing potential therapists. If you are in need of additional support please contact me by clicking here or by calling 805-225-4495 for your FREE 15-minute phone consultation.