5 Self-Care Tips to Reduce Anxiety and Stress from Your San Luis Obispo Therapist

You know you are smart and capable, with the ability to deeply connect with others. You’re also chronically consumed by worry, anxiety, and stress, while simultaneously ruminating on all the things you should have said differently last week. You frequently say “yes” when you want to say “no” because you just can’t let anyone down. You find yourself frequently holding your breath, and you have knots in your shoulders the size of golf balls. Sound familiar?

I know your struggles!

Hi, I’m Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m a San Luis Obispo therapist for women. Below are 5 self-care tips that have helped my clients (and myself) manage anxiety and stress more effectively. I hope you find them useful.

Self-Care Tip #1 to manage anxiety and stress: Say “No” So You Can Say “Yes”

When we say “yes” to others out of guilt or fear, it adds additional stress to our lives. This can lead to feelings of resentment towards the person who asked you to complete the task, even though they likely have no idea how you’re feeling.

For some people, big gatherings and social engagements fill up their energy tanks. For others, alone time is the only way to refuel.

So ask yourself, “How do I refuel my energy tank?”

Once you’re able to answer this for yourself, you’ll know what types of activities recharge you, and which activities drain your energy.

The next time you are asked to take on the task that is not a good fit for you or your life, practice assertively say, “No, that won’t work for me .” If you would like to take on a different task, speak up. Life is about connection, authentic communication, and some compromise. However, if you are consistently not getting your needs met, your life will be filled with a lot more stress and a lot less joy. By speaking your truth and saying “No” more often to things that zap your energy, you’ll free yourself up to say “Yes” more often to the activities and people that are most meaningful to you.

Self-Care Tip #2: Quality Time (either with loved ones or by yourself)

As stated above, we all refuel differently. For some, a snuggle session with our child, spouse, or pet after a tough day is the best de-stress remedy. For others, it’s a quiet night at home reading and taking a bath. For others, it’s playing tennis with friends after work or jamming out with the band. Whatever quality time means to you, make it a priority!

Self-Care Tip #3: Write It Down

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and writing things down helps me remember important appointments, tasks, ideas, etc. By quickly documenting random information floating around my head, I don’t have to worry about forgetting it, and I can come back to it later when it is more convenient. One of my favorite ways to do this is to use voice-to-text in the notes app on my phone.

You may also want to give journaling a try. Many of my clients report that journaling their self-defeating thoughts, worries, and concerns helps them to take a step back and gain perspective. You may discover that your self-defeating thoughts and worries lose much of their power once you write them down or say them aloud.

Self-Care for Anxiety Tip #4: Sleep Hygiene

Sleep hygiene is just a fancy term for practices and habits that set you up for restful sleep. I am a night owl by nature. To get to bed at a decent time, a nighttime routine is a must. This includes limiting screen time an hour before bed, using soft lighting, and reading a book. I also like to listen to a guided visualization each night to prepare my mind and body for rest.

Going to bed at a decent time is a difficult one for me, and sometimes I get sucked into the social media black hole. Remember, progress not perfection!

Self-Care Tip #5: A Walk a Day Keeps Anxiety at Bay

Exercise is so important for physical health, and for mental and emotional well-being. The key is to choose physical activities that you enjoy, and that you can commit to regularly. I have always loved walking, whether it’s by myself, with a friend, or with my dogs. When I walk every day I notice that my mood improves, I think more clearly, and I feel less stressed.

What is your favorite form of exercise?

It may be running, walking, cycling, swimming, playing tennis, dancing or anything else that gets your body moving. Committing to exercise a few days a week has been shown to improve mood (which reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression), improves sleep, reduces stress levels, and boosts self-esteem and confidence.

I hope these tips help you on your journey to more effectively manage anxiety and stress in your life. I also hope it sparks new self-care strategies that work best for you.

Are you in need of more individualized support for anxiety and stress management?

If you’re a woman who lives in California and want individualized support for anxiety and stress, click here to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation. My name is Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m an Arroyo Grande and San Luis Obispo therapist who specializes in trauma and EMDR therapy, and Anxiety. Take good care my friends!

Tips from Your San Luis Obispo Therapist for a Great Online Therapy Session in CA

Since COVID19 started, online therapy (also known as virtual therapy, telehealth, telemedicine, teletherapy, and video therapy) has rapidly increased in popularity. Currently, many therapists in Arroyo Grande and San Luis Obispo, CA, and all over the world, are offering online video sessions in place of in-person sessions to promote the health and well-being of their clients and themselves.

Online therapy might sound strange to you. I get it. This is new territory for many of us, requiring lots of adjustments as we get used to our new normal. 

You may be wondering: Is online therapy as effective as in-person sessions? A 2018 study in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders found that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) conducted online is just as effective as in-person sessions for the treatment of various anxiety disorders. In addition, several of my clients report that they prefer online sessions, as it provides greater flexibility with scheduling, and can be done from the comfort of their homes. 

So you’ve decided to give online therapy a try and you’ve scheduled your first online therapy session. Now what? How are you supposed to prepare?

As with anything new, there is a learning curve. Below are a few tips and tricks I’ve learned over the last few months to help you prepare for the best online therapy experience possible. 

The day before your session

Find a quiet, cozy space away from distractions- Choose a room with a door if possible. A cozy corner with a warm blanket and a window is a great option.

Use a laptop or desktop computer versus a cell phone for video- The larger the screen the better!

Sit as close as possible to your WiFi router or use an Ethernet connection- This will ensure that you have the best connection possible for your video session, and it will reduce technology glitches and lag time.

Test out the technology- During your phone consultation, your therapist will tell you which video conferencing program they will be using for your video session (I use Zoom). If possible, test out the program the day before with a friend or significant other to get comfortable with it and make sure it works properly.

An hour before your session

Have a snack-  Make sure your belly and brain are fueled and ready to go for your session.

Put out a notebook and pen- This way you can jot down any thoughts, ideas, homework etc. during your session. You may even want to jot down a few notes about what you want to discuss.

Put out earbuds or headphones- Using headphones can cut down on background noise and further reduce distractions.

Put out a glass of water and a tissue box- Put out these items along with chapstick and anything else you think you may need during your session.

5 minutes before your session 

Self-care- Take a few deep breaths. Repeat a positive mantra. You are taking steps to nurture yourself and improve your well-being. Show up to your session and be yourself. You’ve got this. 

Call today for a free consultation

Ready to find some relief from the constant anxiety and stress? My name is Andrea Bey, LMFT and I’m an Arroyo Grande and San Luis Obispo therapist for women in CA who struggle with past trauma and current anxiety. I specialize in EMDR therapy, trauma, and anxiety. Click here to contact me and schedule your FREE 15-minute phone consultation. A more fulfilling life is right around the corner.